A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed-Proverbs 11:25
I have never been this “spiritual” person. If thats what you would like to call it. I’ve always questioned God, especially when it came to my epilepsy. “Why me?” just like most people when something bad happens. I spoke in my previous blog post “That Epilepsy Life Chose Me” about how I came to find myself accepting my diagnosis of epilepsy. I also accepted the fact that God chose this life for me because I was strong enough to live it. But what I did not realize was that I still did not KNOW God and His power. I later wrote a blog called “Happy “Rebirth” to Me”, sharing my journey of finding who I really was (I’ll post links to those at the end of this one). See a friend once told me that I had a “gift”. The gift of being able to be there for any and everybody with no hesitation. That anyone could talk to and be completely relaxed and open with me even if they just met me. My passion is mentoring, advocating and just helping others anyway I can. But again I questioned…Why me?! I’m still the same crazy, goofy person I’ve always been. I just grew up over the years.
I’ve always felt like everybody searched and ran to Whitney for everything, from a paper cut to “I’m getting a divorce” uh yea you would be surprised the types of calls I get in the middle of the night. Then when I would be the one in need, no one would be anywhere in sight. Or if they were there, the subject would somehow end up being about them. I voiced it numerous times and still that same friend says “Whit you were gifted”. This time my response was “Well can God send me a gifted person because I not talking to myself” LOL! This spiritual journey has been one eye-opening experience. I never read the Bible. I knew main stories, birth of Jesus, Noah and the ark, Creation, Moses and the Red Sea, things taught in sunday school. Even though I’ve had epilepsy my entire life, I’m now only starting to look at it as something that saved my life, not something that ruined it. If these seizures never returned, I can’t sit here and say that I would be where I am today. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. God’s reason.
A couple of weeks ago I kept telling a close friend of mine, who I’ve been studying the bible with, “Something keeps drawing me to the book of Isaiah. Not even knowing what I would find in there. Since then, I studied the book of Isaiah, in particular chapters 40-66. With recent events in my life from my seizure meds switch being a complete nightmare, my step-dad’s battle with cancer, my decision with my job and other issues going on, I stayed on Isaiah 43:2 “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.” No matter what is going on in your life God is always there. We may not understand it in the moment but God will keep us. I keep this verse handy to remind me, its in God’s hands. I then moved on to Isaiah 61:1 “The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor, He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted.” Isaiah 61:3 “and provide for those who grieve in Zion–to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes.” Nothing but the Holy Spirit led me to read this book of the Bible. Why? Because I questioned God. I questioned my gifts. I questioned why am I at this level in my life especially the decision surrounding my job. Why am I going through so much when I made so many changes? Will the next chapter be better?
Now for the moment that I witnessed God all up and through my life. Saturday, Joyce Meyer was in Dallas. I was super excited! She was on tour doing her conferences. Each day she delivers a different message. The moment she walked on stage she says “For some reason, I feel I need to pray for the sick. Whatever sickness you or a loved one are going through, whatever the medical report said, hand it over to God. Receive his healing.” Yea my jaw dropped. I needed it, my family needs it. She then says “Open your bible to Isaiah 61:1”. When I tell you my eyes just filled with tears! Like God! You are trying to speak to me because out of all the books in the bible she’s preaching the exact one I’ve been studying, the exact verse as well. She said “you may ask why are all of these people coming to me with all of their problems? Well sometimes God assigns you to a brokenhearted person.” Sometimes we just need to be there. As I said before we may not understand why we are going through certain situations but sometimes we have to suffer through where we are to bring others through for their salvation. We have to be their inspiration.
She then says go to Isaiah 61:3. Are you kidding me right now? Beauty for ashes!! Bring your problems to Jesus and He will give you something better. Give the pain, the life you loss to God. He will give you double what you loss. She ended by saying say to yourself “I’m not going to live wounded. I’m going to just live joyous. But I’m also going to help others find their joy.” This is so me. Always encouraging everyone to keep fighting, keep going. Never give up! Oh but it did not stop there. The next morning Joel Osteen starts by saying “We have to become someone else’s miracle.” “People pray for healing, breakthroughs, someone to help them and God placed you in their lives for a reason. He wants you to be their miracle.” No more coincidences when you have faith.
I decided to share this with my readers because lately I’ve gotten a lot of emails, text, calls just saying thank you, you inspire me, keep doing what you do. It’s not just friends or family. It’s people who follow the blog, Instagram, Twitter. I never knew I would make an impact on so many lives when Changing Focus started. But God knew. He aligned everything so I can touch lives, hearts and I am forever grateful. You all are truly MY inspiration and the reason I keep pushing every single day. This battle with epilepsy is not easy but knowing my story could help someone else, I will share every day if needed. You better believe I will no longer question God. He is my speed dial and I am so blessed to have reconnected with Him.