I can quote Forrest Gump all day long and that statement explains the last few months of my life perfectly. It has been filled with so many twist and turns. Some unimaginable events, some things I tried to prepare myself for but still was not ready for. Life has just been crazy. In the midst of it all, I still had to manage my seizures, still had to see my neurologist. If you aren’t careful, life will surely knock you down and try to keep you there.
This is probably the longest break I have ever taken from Changing Focus. The last time I have been able to sit down to actually write anything meaningful was June 18th. I was so excited about that post. Then June 20, 2015, began the spiral of my life changing forever. It began with my godfather being murdered in the line of duty the day before Father’s Day. I was a walking zombie for awhile. Didn’t know if I was coming or going. I tried to channel that energy into writing but only tears escaped instead of words. Two months later, I received a call my dad’s cancer took a turn for the worse. I rushed back to New Orleans to be at his side. I watched him take his last breath days later. It’s safe to say its been a summer I’ll never forget.
With my absence, I had to allow myself to grieve and regroup. I am not one to show my true emotions. In turn, I ended up isolating myself. I found myself not wanting to do things I once loved. I stepped away from Changing Focus, my volunteer work, life, just everything. My stress levels were through the roof, which meant my seizures were also. Stress is a major trigger for me. NOT SAFE AT ALL. I honestly was SO conflicted. I knew I had to allow myself to grieve. I lost two of the most important people in my life within 2 months of each other. Then one day I had a seizure that again scared the crap out of me… That was my wake up call. No matter what, remember to always put your health first. You are no good to anyone if you are laid out somewhere trying to keep yourself together. Take your medication, eat and do your best to SLEEP!
“Dear God, make me a bird so I can fly far far away from here”- Jenny
Sometimes we have to take a step back to realize we are still human. As much as I try to be superwoman, I am not. I am taking it one day at a time but ready to get back in the swing of things. My guys would not want me giving up on my dreams or all the work I do to give back. My seizures are cooperating with the meds again so I feel like I can conquer the world… literally! There’s so many things coming up I cannot wait to share with my readers and community. November is Epilepsy and Pancreatic Cancer Awareness Month. It’s safe to say it is one of the busiest months of the year for me. Check the News and Events page for all the events I’ll be attending and participating in.
“My mama always said you’ve got to put the past behind you before you can move on.” – Forrest Gump
While I can never forget these last few months, I’m anxious to see what God has in store for me next. I’ll be taking Changing Focus in a brand new direction. Stay tuned as I reemerge and continue this journey with you. Thanks for staying with me through this difficult time. Thanks to my amazing support system,new and old, for wiping the tears and words of wisdom and prayers. This break was honestly the best thing I could have done for ME.